Grey or Blue?
by Caidyn
Summary: Remus is kept up at night by the question of grey or blue?


What were they?—Grey or blue? That was the question that kept Remus Lupin up at night when he should be fast asleep. Nothing could lull him into that false state of security that sleeping came with; not the darkness of the room or the soft noises of the person sleeping next to him. He rolled from his back to his side. There he was, Ben Henry, the boy he had just shagged for what had to be the millionth time. They had started dating because of a party where Remus had actually decided to drink. He had gotten drunk and woken up next to him. From that day on they had tried to make whatever they had started work.

Ben was sixteen, the same age as Remus, and had a copper-y brown colored hair that always fell back into place no matter what you did to it. His eyes were a dark brown color that resembled dark chocolate. Ben was rather attractive, but he just wasn't Remus's type. The boy was smart, funny, he loved to smile, and he was a Ravenclaw. All of those attributes were things that Remus admired in a person, but it wasn't what he wanted. What he wanted… well, what he wanted was completely and utterly off limits. Someone already had the person he wanted.

Grey or blue? Remus could never get close enough to figure out what color they really were. Even though he had known the boy for about six years, he couldn't tell. Not when he was eleven and first crushing on him had he known. That was always a mystery that couldn't get out of his head no matter how hard he tried. Some days they looked grey, mostly by help of the clouds that would suck any color out of anything. But some days they looked blue, a dull blue, because of the way light reflected on them.

Remus continued to stare at the boy he was sleeping next to. The room he was sleeping in shouldn't even exist. He was the one who had showed Ben the Room of Requirements. The place took shape to whatever you needed. Tonight they needed a bed and a condom. That's exactly what they had got. The boy rolled onto his side and curled up a little bit onto himself. Remus reached a hand out and pushed that dirty blonde hair out of the way so he could see the sculpted face that belonged to his current lover.

Pulling his eyes away he stood up from the bed and looked around for the rest of his clothes since he was only in his boxers. Eventually he found them sprawled out at the edge of the bed and on the floor in front of it. They must have really been in a hurry. He pulled them on, made sure he had his wand on hand, and took off. Ben could figure out that Remus had gone back to his common room if he woke up in the middle of the night. Remus traveled through the dark and quiet corridors, trying not to think about the puzzle he had been trying to figure out earlier. Grey or blue? One day he was going to have to try to get close enough to figure it out, probably when the boy was drunk.

After saying the password he entered the Gryffindor common room. In the corner there was a fire going that warmed up the room considerably. Comfort immediately washed over him. Hogwarts was the closest place he had to a home since he had two insane parents that didn't care about anything other than themselves. But life was life, and you had to do your best to survive all aspects of it. Remus quietly walked up the stairs to the boy's dormitory. Everyone there was asleep, or seemed to be. Behind him there was a noise that sounded like someone clearing his throat. Remus whipped around to see Sirius standing there.

The boy's eyes caught the moonlight, turning them a bright grey. Or were they blue? Remus took a deep breath in and out. "Where were you? Or should I ask, who were you with?"

"What do you mean Sirius? I'm tired and I aim to go to sleep soon." Remus turned and started walking away, but a hand grabbed him to turn him around. "What do you want Sirius," he tiredly asked. It was easy to play off how those small touches made him go wild on the inside. Over the years he had perfected his act of boredom.

"I want to know who you were with. I'm going to take a guess that it was your boyfriend, Ben Henry. You should probably take a shower; smelling like sex and sweat as well as having your hair sticking everywhere is not a becoming look on you." A deep blush crept up from Remus's chest to his neck and tinting his face a deep pink. At least it was dark.

"Shove off, Sirius. I'm going to sleep. And why would you care where I've been and who I've been with? I stopped asking you where you were long ago and I gave up on asking who you were with." Sirius was the Gryffindor sex god; he was the one that every girl, and some of the blokes, wanted to be with for at least a little bit. Remus had been included in that group since he was about eleven.

"I-I just don't want you to get pregnant!"

"What?" Remus knew that his mouth was open and he was openly gaping at Sirius. "I can't get pregnant, Sirius. It's impossible for that to happen to me."

"Oh, you know what I mean, Moony. I mean that I don't want anything to happen to you. Sex is a dangerous thing."

"Yeah, like you should know. This is coming from the boy who has shagged practically all the girls in our year. Now let me sleep." It was easy to pull out of the boy's grip and walk over to his bed. He turned his back to Sirius and pulled back off his shirt and jeans.

"Fine, then I'll sleep too!" Sirius walked over to his own bed, which was right next to Remus's.

"Both of you shut it! There are people trying to sleep in here," came James's sleepy groan.

Remus climbed into his bed and pulled the curtain closed around him. It was completely dark and everything felt to be blocked out. There were no noises from Sirius, who seemed to have been getting extremely flustered over this. That made no sense. Sirius had Emmeline Vance at the moment, as well as another girl he was shagging on the side. Why care over Remus's petty love life?

From the bed next to him, he heard someone climb in and close the curtain as well. That meant Sirius was going to sleep. Their stupid little fight was over. At least it was going to be over until someone decided to bring it back up. That was always Sirius's job in their odd little relationship. They fought, stormed off, fought again, and then tried to forget whatever the fight had been over. This time it had been over him being with Ben.

Remus stared up at the dark ceiling that he had been staring at for six years when he couldn't sleep. Most of his sleepless nights had been caused by Sirius. He still was wondering, just as he always did, whether those eyes were grey or blue. He had a feeling that he would never find out. Eventually he willed himself to stop thinking and get some sleep. It was early the next morning, before the sun rose, when he woke up.

Keeping quiet, since everyone else was still asleep, he got up from the bed and gathered one of his dress shirts and slacks that he owned. Since it was the weekend he could wear what he wanted. If he had nice shirts or jeans, he would have worn those instead of something that was a part of his school uniform. With those clothes in hand he walked into the restroom connected to the boy's dorm. He undressed himself and walked over to the shower. Once he turned it on, he stepped into water that was already burning hot.

That's how he took his showers; burning hot water or no shower at all. As usual in the shower he tuned out the world. He was in the middle of washing his hair when he heard something that made him whirl around. There Sirius was… in the shower with him. "SIRIUS! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?"

"Taking a shower, now pass me the soap."

"Get. Out."

"Pass me the soap."

"Get out, Sirius."

"Pass me the goddamned soap."

Remus could feel his jaw clenching in suppressed rage. "I told you to get out of the shower, Sirius. Get out of here." It was hard for him to keep his eyes focused on Sirius's face. Even while looking at his face he could see the slightly definition of the boy's muscles and the water trickling down the boy's body, leading to who knew where. Well, he did know but he couldn't follow it with his eyes. It was lucky enough that his body wasn't showing how this was really making him feel.

"I want to finish our conversation we were having last night. You know, about you being with Ben. What did you two do? You left around dinner and came back about—what?—one in the morning. I didn't know two blokes could go for that long."

"Sirius, we shagged. We can go just as long as you can if we want to. And last night we wanted to." It was lucky that he wasn't blushing. Talking about things like this were things that got him to.

"And what did that shagging consist of?"

"Why do you want to know? Are you turning gay too?" Merlin please let that be the reason.

"No, I'm just curious. Wasn't it you who said that having a healthy curiosity is good?"

Damn him. "Yes, but you don't just go around asking people that, now get out of my shower." Remus turned so he back was to Sirius. He lifted his arms to begin washing his hair again. For a long time there was silence that made him think that the boy had gotten the hint and left him be. He breathed a sigh of relief and continued washing himself off. From behind arms came from around him, resting at his waist to hold him; they were dangerously close to something else.

"Moony… please tell me what you two did. I'm curious," Sirius breathed in Remus's ear. Shit. He could feel an erection beginning to burn hot against his leg. It wasn't helping that he could feel Sirius's member against his back. This just wasn't good.

"He blew me while I gave him a hand job. Then we shagged."

"Moony… how do you shag if there are two blokes? I don't get it."

Why did he have to sound so cute when asking completely non-innocent questions? "You do have an arsehole, don't you? That's how you do it if you're like me."

"So, you put your… you know, in some guys bum?"

"Yes, Sirius."

"Oh."

"Now, sod off so I can finish my shower." Sirius sighed and let his forehead rest against Remus's shoulder. Could every day be like this?

"Fine, I'll see you at breakfast then." The arms that were around him left and the noise of someone getting out sounded. Remus was now hot and bothered thanks to Sirius. He could still feel the boy pressed up against him. That's all he had wanted for years now. He could feel his own member pulsing against his inner thigh.

Remus did his best to wash himself off, keeping his hands away from his erection, then got out. He toweled himself off and got dressed. From there he stopped only for a brief moment in the dorm to grab himself a book and get shoes on. Then he was off, mostly to find Ben so the boy could take his mind off of Sirius. He wandered around the corridors until he reached the library. Ben would have to be in there. He walked in there to look around, searching for that familiar hair color. While looking down an aisle he saw it. Ben was intently looking at a book.

Making sure he kept quiet, Remus went behind him and wrapped arms from behind. That reminded him of Sirius which made his erection pulse harder. Ben made a noise of surprise. "Shit. You scared me, love. And why did you leave last night? I woke up and you were gone."

"I couldn't sleep, so I went back to my dorm room to try it."

Ben nodded; Remus could tell he wasn't paying attention anymore. The book that the boy was reading had gotten Ben's attention. At the title of the chapter made him frown. Why was he looking at a book about the dark arts? Remus took the book and moved away to look at it. _Dark Arts: A How-to Guide._ "Ben what the hell is this? Why are you looking at this? You know how things are going right now, out in the real world. Seeing this is a bit suspicious."

Ben cleared his throat. That was not a good sign. He took the book from Remus's hands and put it down on the shelf before taking his hand and pulling the two out of the library. "We need to talk about something, Remus." Definitely not a good sign.

"What do we need to talk about," he asked cautiously. Remus stopped them after they got to somewhere that seemed rather deserted.

"I've decided something for myself. I decided it a while ago, but I never saw a good time to say it. I guess now is a good time."

"Yeah, it's a bloody good time."

"Just keep quiet for a little bit while I explain. When we get out of Hogwarts I've decided that I'm going to join the Death Eaters. Wait, just hear me out Remus. Think about it; we're on the losing side. Every day the Dark Lord gets more followers while more people go into hiding, get killed, or disappear altogether. They don't have too much of a chance, while people who join him will." Ben had that small little smile on his face that he wore when he knew, or at least thought, he was right. At that moment Remus wanted to smack it off.

"And what happens if their side loses? What then? You'll be put onto trial for killing and torturing innocent people. Muggles and Muggleborns aren't that important. They're people, just like us. And what about the 'half-breeds' that You-Know-Who's enlisting but at the same time is telling his other followers to kill. What about that?"

"Mudbloods and Muggles are unworthy of being here or knowing about our world. And half-breeds are disgusting. They should all be put down or killed as soon as possible. They're almost as bad as Mudbloods."

Remus was a half-breed; all because of his furry little problem had he been marked as that. It would never go away and there would always be people out there who had Ben's hatred of them. "Ben Henry… I'm done with you. If you think that way about people who are different than yourself then I can't be around you anymore. Just don't talk to me right now."

Without waiting for a response of any kind he walked off. And there were no noises of Ben apologizing or saying he was wrong. Just silence and then footsteps of the boy walking in the direction they had just come from. Ben had no idea about how personal those words had been directed. That was why relationships would never truly work out in his eyes. At least, schoolyard relationships wouldn't work.

The best thing to do in the situation of his first experience in breaking up was to go on with his day then sleep for a long time then do homework. First thing to do was go to breakfast. Remus shoved his hands in his pockets and kept his head down as he went. "Remus! Hey, slow down!" He looked back quickly to see Sirius trying to catch up with him. That was the last person he wanted to talk to. Remus turned so his back was to the boy and walked a bit faster. "Moony, I know that you saw me. Wait up; I want to talk to you about something! Remus John Lupin! You hold on!" Remus acted like he was deaf. There were footsteps behind him at a rapid pace. Eventually they caught up to him when he was just outside the Great Hall.

"Remus, did you not hear me?" Sirius turned him around. They were close, really close.

"I'm not in the mood, Sirius. Let me go so I can go and eat."

"No."

"Sirius, let me go right no-"

He was cut off by the boy wrapping an arm around his waist and another draping around his neck. They were even closer than before. Remus could feel his mouth open a little bit in shock. Sirius leaned in a bit more and pressed their lips together.

Feelings of electricity ran through Remus's body to no end. His whole body was arching itself into Sirius more. They were kissing, really kissing. Hell, this was the best kiss he had ever felt in his whole life. Eventually he had to pull away so he could breathe. Sirius rested their foreheads together. "I should have done this a lot sooner," the boy breathed out.

And now Remus knew the answer to his question; they were grey, not blue.

**A/N**

**Yes, another one up. I have too many things that I need to write. It's written because of my friend Gen521, and it's slightly for her. I hope she gets online soon enough so I can shoot her a link to this. :3**

**She gave me a song to work with. I hope that you enjoy reading it! Remember to review!**

**Song: .com/watch?v=-lr6OUM2RMI**


End file.
